Is there a demon preventing you from accomplishing the things you desire? If you ever struggle to complete a project or worse can’t seem to even get started, then the answer is yes. That demon can show up in many forms. Here is one.
I never thought of myself as a perfectionist. In fact I used to think of myself as the opposite of that. Given my ADHD brain, it seemed a matter of survival to me to not be perfect. Otherwise i’d never accomplish anything.
And yet, I’ve learned over the years just how much perfectionism has unconsciously slowed my progress or even totally derailed a plan that I have. Though it can show up in any project that feels complicated or has an emotional charge, one place the demon has shown up for me is in my writing.
Have you ever had to write something for work or even something for pleasure and struggled to get pen to paper? I used to feel, I had to explore every nuance of a topic I was writing about. I thought I had to address every possible agreement or disagreement with what I was saying. Of course it’s not possible to address or even be aware of every “possible” thought that someone else “might” have.
Even so, I would overwhelm myself with mentally trying to address every possible scenario before the writing process even got started. Doing so would leave me feeling anxious about what others might say if I didn’t address everything, overwhelmed that I might miss something, stuck feeling like I can’t even get started till I figure out all the aspects I need to address and worried that it will be too long or too short or…
The effect was to wrap myself in tight blanket of angst that kept me immobile. When things were going really well it would simply take me an inordinately long time to write something I felt merited sharing. When things weren’t going so well, my thoughts might remain as ideas that never made it to a page. While simultaneously causing me frustration that I was not accomplishing what I wanted.
Though those thoughts don’t consume me or stop me like they used to, I would be lying to say I’m free of them. The demon still shows up but is no longer in hiding. I’m aware of it and can soothe it. I can acknowledge those thoughts when they visit me while also being aware that those thoughts are not the truth. I can give myself permission to start writing even when i don’t know what I’m going to say.
I give myself permission to continue writing even when I’m not happy with the words coming out. Because I’ve learned that if I give myself the permission to continue, the words tend to coalesce into something I can feel good about.
What stories/demons are preventing you from moving forward in the ways that you desire? Perhaps stories that you hide even from yourself or perhaps they are jumping up and down in front of you calling out for attention. Is it some form or aspect of perfectionism? An aspect of not enoughness.
I invite you to explore the thoughts and feelings that are limiting you and replace them with more nourishing and empowering practices. If you need any help with that, reach out and let’s explore.