The three quotes in this article have deeply spoken to me. The more I can embrace their wisdom, the richer my life becomes. It’s not always an easy path but the increased freedom has been well worth it.
We all want to feel comfortable, but could that desire for comfort actually be limiting you?
“We see comfort as an achievement and the truth is, comfort is actually defined as your tolerance for discomfort.” - Peter Sage
Our conscious and subconscious mind will find all kinds of excuses and rationalizations to keep us in our comfort zone. Our mind wants to keep us safe so this makes logical sense. But that means whenever we try something new that stretches us, our minds will put all kinds of blocks in the way of achieving this new goal. This is especially true if we are consciously making comfort our goal.
I used to have extreme social anxiety. I remember in my early twenties, depressed and lonely, I wished I had one friend. Somebody to talk to.
I so wanted to find a path out of that dynamic, but I also did not want to be uncomfortable. (Of course staying stuck was uncomfortable in itself.) I did not want to risk embarrassment or getting it wrong. So I largely avoided social situations. Or my body would just get tired as a way of avoiding the risk.
And when I was in a conversation or other social setting, I was consciously and unconsciously looking for any escape for fear it would get awkward. While simultaneously hoping “next time” it will be better.
”If you feel safe in the area you are working in your not in the right area, always go a little further into the water than you feel you’re capable of being in. Go a little bit out of your depth. And when you don’t feel your feet are quite touching the bottom, you’re just about in the right place to do something exciting.” - David Bowie
The impact that had was to limit my growth. Because I so rarely engaged, because I was not willing to try (even though I wanted to) I not only remained stuck in the same spot but I reinforced the belief that I don’t know how. So instead of having a different experience the next time, I was just more sure I was going to screw it up if I tried.
Social anxiety was only one of many realms it showed up for me. The same was true when learning to kayak, write articles, build my business and so much more.
Where do you notice a desire for comfort is holding you back? What do you want to achieve that you keep running into the same blocks around?
It was not until I learned that not only would discomfort not hurt me, it could actually begin to feel excited because it meant I was growing. I was learning and switching my paradigm. And as I embraced the idea that it was ok to feel some discomfort, that is when what once felt impossible became a little easier and easier and eventually easeful.
As you expand your comfort zone those places where you struggle can become strengths. The journey is not always an easy one. I have some tools to help you get there with greater ease. If you’d like to learn more, reach out and let’s have a conversation.
Because…
“The quality of our life is in direct proportion to the level of uncertainty that we can comfortably live with.” - Andrew Bustamante with The Fearless Man Program
How Chasing Comfort Keeps Us Uncomfortable