Today I want to explore the shape of your butt.
Almost all of us wrestle with anxiety from time to time. And for many of us, it can be a quite common occurrence and one that we try to avoid or push away or make wrong somehow.
If you’re anything like me, anxiety can feel like a wall, a warning sign, or a dead end. It tells you to slow down, stop, freeze, or run. It can feel suffocating, overwhelming, even catastrophic. But recently, I heard a phrase from my mentor Peter Sage, that reframed anxiety for me:
"Anxiety is the emotion of growth — providing you don’t resist it. Otherwise, it becomes catastrophic or catabolic."
That really resonated deeply with me, even though the first time I heard it, I struggled to make sense of it. And yet over time not only did it make sense, but it gave me a completely new relationship to a feeling I’ve tried to avoid, suppress, or outsmart for most of my life.
It reminded me of something I learned years ago — that anger is the emotion of self-preservation. At its core, anger protects. It rises up to create a boundary, to shield something sacred, something vulnerable. When I first learned that, it radically shifted how I related to anger. I stopped trying to shut it down and instead got curious about what it was protecting.
This idea about anxiety feels just as transformational.
If anxiety is the emotion of growth, then maybe it’s not something to fight or fear — maybe it’s something to lean into with compassion and curiosity. Maybe it means you’re on the edge of something important, something new, something not yet fully formed. Maybe the discomfort is not a signal of failure, but a sign of expansion. Maybe it’s a signal of an opportunity, whether for greater choice, making a decision or for growth.
One example I was sharing with a client just last night is, if you have an exciting opportunity, that feels really good. But if you have three exciting opportunities at the same time, that can paradoxically feel bad and even create anxiety because you need to pick one which means not availing yourself of the others.
How we feel all depends on what meaning we make of the experience and what stories we tell ourselves. Such as “Why does this always happen to me, I’m always forced to have to give something up.” vs “How blessed am I to be able to have so many opportunities.” I know there are many times I’ve “chosen” the former mindset rather than the later.
As Peter Sage says, here’s where it gets fun — it all depends on the shape of your “butt”.
Now you may be asking yourself, “What the hell are you talking about Gregg?” What does my ass have to do with anything? Well, a lot (but)t not in the way you may think.
Let’s say you’re feeling called to take a leap — maybe launch a business, express a truth, make a bold move. And you feel anxiety. The voice in your head might say:
“But I don’t have the same resources as them, so I can’t do that.”
This “but” is shaped like fear and defeat. It shrinks you. It closes the door before it’s even cracked open. It keeps you small — and safe — but stuck.
Now try this:
*“I don’t have the same resources… *but I’ll find a way to do it.”
This “but” is shaped like power and possibility. It’s not denying reality — it’s acknowledging the gap and choosing to move forward anyway. This “but” expands. It invites creativity. It plants the seeds of growth — and that’s exactly where anxiety comes in, not as an enemy, but as a signpost:
You are stepping into something unfamiliar. You are growing.
The difference between those two "buts" isn't trivial. It's the difference between being at the mercy of your circumstances and becoming the author of your own story.
So… what’s the shape of your but?
Take a moment. Think about a place in your life right now where you're feeling anxious. Is there a dream you’re afraid to say out loud? A change you want to make but haven’t taken action on yet? A boundary you’ve been hesitant to set?
Now listen for the “but.”
What does it sound like?
Is it: But I don’t have the time...
Or: But what if I fail…
Or: But people will judge me…
And then… can you shift it?
Can you play with this:
“Yes, this is hard… but I’ll figure it out.”
“I don’t know how yet… but I’m open to learning.”
“It feels scary… but I’m doing it anyway.”
This isn’t about pretending anxiety isn’t there. It’s about honoring it — and then moving forward with it, rather than resisting it.
Because resistance? That’s what turns anxiety into something heavier — catastrophic or catabolic. Resistance is what shuts down your nervous system, floods you with fear, and makes everything feel like too much.
But acceptance — especially paired with empowered action — turns anxiety into energy. It becomes the fuel for your next chapter.
So the next time anxiety shows up — before you try to escape it or talk yourself out of whatever caused it — pause. Take a breath. Ask:
What part of me is growing right now?
And then, check the shape of your “but.”
Your language matters. Your internal dialogue matters. Your willingness to stay present with discomfort — without judging it or needing to fix it — is a superpower.
You're allowed to grow. You're allowed to feel anxious. And you're allowed to rewrite the story that follows the word “but.”
Thanks for being here with me in the messiness of growth. Remember, you’re not alone on this journey.
With love and curiosity,
Gregg :o)
Permission to Be Your Full Self
P.S. What’s the shape of your “but” this week? Hit reply — I’d love to hear.
“Anxiety is the handmaiden of creativity.” — T.S. Eliot
“The best antidote to anxiety is action.” — Unknown
“You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” — Marcus Aurelius
Photo: The shape of my butt.
“Don’t let your mind bully your body into believing it must carry the burden of its worries.” — Astrid Alauda
Photo: A recent trip to Hawaii, hiking down to a green sand beach for some body surfing.
