We all carry many fears and worries. But how many of them are actually real?
As Mark Twain once said: “I have had many worries in my life, most of which never happened.”
I’ve been exploring this idea with a client lately—how often we brace ourselves for disappointment, rejection, or failure, only to realize that most of what we feared never came to pass. Our minds are powerful storytellers, and sometimes they weave entire narratives about outcomes that never arrive.
Living in Fear vs. Living in Possibility
I was recently listening to a podcast episode with Mel Robbins, where she shared a perspective that struck me deeply. She spoke about the cultural hesitation we have around sharing good news: not announcing “I’m pregnant” or “I’m getting that promotion” until the result is absolutely certain—because we fear embarrassment, disappointing others, or feeling shame if it doesn’t work out.
But Mel flipped the script: “I’d rather live for a time with the excitement that things are going to work out, and then deal with the disappointment if it comes, than live in fear and worry while waiting for the worst.”
That landed. Because how often do we rob ourselves of joy in the present by rehearsing failure in advance? Fear convinces us that bracing for the worst will protect us. But most of the time, it only drains our energy and keeps us small.
A Gentle Reframe
What if, instead of preparing for disappointment, we practiced preparing for delight?
What if you let yourself imagine that the project, the relationship, or the opportunity will go beautifully?
What if you allowed yourself to feel the excitement now, regardless of the outcome later?
What if the possibility of things working out exactly as you want became the story you rehearsed?
This doesn’t mean denying reality. Disappointment may come—and if it does, you’ll meet it with resilience. But in the meantime, you’ll have given yourself the gift of joy, hope, and expansion.
An Invitation
This week, I invite you to notice when your mind rehearses failure, rejection, or embarrassment. Pause. Then gently ask yourself: “What if it works out? What if I let myself enjoy this hope right now?”
This small shift, can open doors to courage, connection, and even a little more wonder in your day-to-day life.
And if you’d like support in rewiring your relationship with fear and stepping more fully into possibility, I’d love to walk that path with you.
Click the link below to work with me.
You'll find more details on my coaching page.
