Why This Isn’t a Failure (Even If It Feels Like One)
I’ve been spending a surprising amount of time lately trying to block light from my bedroom windows.
If you know me, you know I’m pretty sensitive to light when I sleep. And over the years, I’ve developed a system that works really well—blackout shades, magnets along the edges.
It’s worked in every place I’ve lived. Until now.
This room gets more direct sunlight than anywhere I’ve ever lived. Which I actually love once I’m awake. But in the early morning… even a small amount of light is enough to wake me before I’m ready.
So I’ve been adjusting things. Trying different setups. Adding more magnets. Testing new ways of sealing the edges.
And I can feel that familiar pull… “Why isn’t this working yet?”
But here’s the reframe: Nothing is going wrong. This is the process.
When Thomas Edison was developing the light bulb, he went through countless iterations. Each one that didn’t work wasn’t failure. It was information.
Intellectually, most of us understand this. But emotionally… it doesn’t feel like “iteration.” It feels like wasted time, effort… maybe even like we’re the problem. That’s the real trap: not the mistake, but the meaning we attach to it.
Because when we’re in it… the experience shifts from curiosity into frustration, self-doubt, or the sense something has gone wrong.
Years ago, I created a sea kayaking class called: “Let’s Do It Wrong.”
Instead of only practicing the “right way,” we explored what happens when things go sideways. We intentionally practiced doing things incorrectly to build adaptability.
Because in real conditions, if all you know is the right way, then you’re stuck when things go wrong.… and they always do.
But if you’ve explored the edges… you become more capable.
Life works the same way. Those wrong turns expand your range.
Such was the case with the adhesive for the popular Post-it Notes which came from a "failed" attempt to make something much stronger.
So here I am… still adjusting. Still experimenting. Still learning.
I’m not failing. I’m in the process. And practicing meeting the process with more patience… curiosity… permission.
Because that’s the real shift… learning how to stay with ourselves when things aren’t working yet.
Because the detour is not failure. That is the path.
That is a big part of the work I do with clients, learning how to stay grounded and self supportive even when life feels messy or uncertain.
Photos from sunsets near my home this week.
“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”
-Thomas Edison
“There is no innovation and creativity without failure. Period.”
-Brené Brown